I found myself snuggled next to my sweet little boy in his hospital bed on what would be his final day on earth. I will never forget that moment in those early morning hours. As I held his hand, I remember asking him to help mommy and daddy know what we could do for him. I told him how much we loved him and that we didn't want him to leave, but if he needed to - we would try to be strong like him, and let him go (for now). A feeling rushed over me...and I just knew. I knew he was tired, that he had completed his earthly tasks, and more importantly, that it'd all be ok.
So here we are, it's early morning again - and I am snuggled next to Cannon's darling little sister, in my own bed. How lucky are we to be holding this precious baby on what will probably be one of the hardest days we'll have to endure year after year. Plain and simple, God is good.
There are words I'm sure...but I can't seem to write them. So for now, I'll share a song that Anais showed me that makes me smile/cry.
"Happy" tears ofcourse :~).
Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton - When I Get to... by merlin0758
Love you & Miss you Cannon.
7 comments:
Thanks Jazz-- I started my day crying with you! You and Rod are such an example of strength and faith. Praying that you will feel peace and love today and know that you have endure the hardest year--things will continue to look up as little Cannon looks down on you. Love you.
i intended to do his honorary WOD this morning at 5, I was up too late crying and didn't want to do a crap job for him, the pressure is on for tonigt @6:30. You're right, words seem trite, my heart is so achy. Miss him.
That is beautiful. I love that song. Just know that Cannon helped his little sis prepare to meet his earthly parents. He loves her so much, and you. He is grateful for the strength you have and the desire to bring siblings into this world. He is always with you and I hope you continue to feel peace as the years pass. Congrats on Miss Faye, I LOVE it!
Jasmine, this is Heather Bigler in your ward. My baby Ella was born around the time Cannon was, and although I didn't know you well at the time, my heart was heavy hearing about what you were going through with your baby who was so close in age to mine. When I found out that he had finished his time on earth, I cried and cried for you and how your heart must ache missing him. Now here I am bawling again. It breaks my heart thinking of what it must be like to go through that, and just know that we were praying for you then and are still thinking of you now, especially on this hard day. I hope you get to feel him close by, as I really believe they get to keep a very close watch on us. Hugs. Can't wait to see your sweet baby girl.
So sweet Jasmine! You're such a good Mommy. Know I'm thinking and praying for your family!
I hope you had an ok day today. Jackson's birthday/death date is always hard for me. I'm thinking of you!
We are sending our prayers and love your way! Thinking about you guys today. So happy that your sweet baby girl could be there with you.
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