Monday, September 12, 2011

Blessed

It would literally be easier to scan the pages of the journal I wrote in and put em up here, but seeing as that I've written more in my journal in these last 2 months than the last 2 years...it'd be a little lengthy!
It's been 2 weeks since our sweet Cannon left to go to Jesus' house (cute lil Leah's words). It feels like a blur really...the hospital stays, the procedures, the docs and nurses - it doesn't seem like it even happened. I can't help but feel like I'm in a dream sometimes.
It's no secret that our darling boy has been nothing short of a complete and utter miracle. Here's very short synopsis from his Life Story that I shared at his funeral:

We were blessed to have had him home from May 15th- July 15th. What a happy lil’ man he was. A few things he loved: a full tummy, his green binkie, mom’s pillow, watching ESPN with daddy, being read to, warm baths and the blowdryer. He had the most kissable cheeks, he cooed and smiled when you told him how stinkin’ cute he was. He LOVED being snuggled and could rarely be put down without getting fussy. I would jokingly ask if it was normal for a baby to want to be held as much as he did! I’m grateful for this b/c I now realize he wanted US to hold him as much as possible.
He had been going to his cardiologist to monitor his heart function. They found thru EKG halters that he was having arrhythmia issues 20% of the time & also 3-4 second heart pauses and therefore needed surgery to correct this issue. I do not question if the surgery could have been postponed for a time because he was having these issues with hardly any noticeable symptoms and could have very easily passed at any time if it had not been addressed. 
On July 20th, Cannon underwent open heart surgery at Phoenix Children‘s Hospital. Because of the massive amounts of chest tube drainage following that, he also had to have 2 other procedures to try and help stop the draining. Cannon’s recovery process was a constant battle - but you could always feel his strength when he gripped his tiny hand around your fingers. People who came to visit would tell us how overwhelming his spirit was when they walked into our room. He had an amazing medical team of doctors and nurses who genuinely cared for him. After 41 long and hard fought days, he departed this world peacefully back into the presence of our Heavenly Father.


I read "Oh! The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Suess from the pulpit. There is a book cart at the hospital that comes around and I had always loved this book...but I couldn't help but interpret it differently reading it to Cannon this time. It pretty much summed up my feelings exactly. I hope I didn't ruin the book for everyone!

I can't even begin to thank everyone who has reached out to us, visited us in the hospital, brought us meals, sent us flowers and heartfelt cards. We are overwhelmed with feelings of love and appreciation. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Anais sent me this quote that I shared, The Prophet Joseph Smith said,
"The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again."

9 comments:

Cassie Forsgren said...

You are so amazin Jasmine. Cannon was so pure and Heavenly Father would only send him to someone who was worthy enough. I think about u daily and hope you and your husband are doing well. Love you

Kara Jones said...

all i can say is I witness the Spirit at work when I see you. You have been so gracious about Moby and I can't possibly tell you how many people thought you handled telling your son's life story with such composure. I remember those tender things you shared from the pulpit and it made me feel peaceful reading them again in this post. love ya sis.

Andrea said...

What a beautiful life story. Such a brave and strong boy-- just like his momma!

I think of you often and am excited for the craft day coming up!!

Chelsey Howard said...

I love that quote!! Jasmine, you are so amazing. I wish we could see the angels around us that are send to help, comfort and guide us. I bet your are surrounded by them and probably have been ever since you were pregnant. It is nice to know that Cannon is in good hands until you get to hold him again.

Brittney said...

Thank you for sharing his story. I have thought of you often in the past few weeks. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers (and actually my little 4-year old prayed for you the other day as well. :) Lots of love being sent your way.

Hiatt Family said...

I love that quote. We read it at Jackson's burial. I sure do love you & am so sorry that you have to feel the pain of losing a child. Please let me know if you need anything! Even if you just need to talk to someone who knows a little bit of what you are feeling! You're in my thoughts & prayers.
-Anjane'

Brittany & Gentry said...

Hey Jazz, I was just wanting you to know I think about your family often and your family is in my prayers! I look up to you and your strength as a mother! I know there isn't anything I can really say to make things better, just know I care for you and your family.
Love,
Brittany

Meghan White said...

You have shared Cannon's story so beautifully. I wish I could hear or read more. You truly are a wonderful woman and such a strong and loving mother. I think about you everyday and I also think about what Cannon is doing with his new dog and everyone else that is now enjoying his presence.

Wendy said...

So, so sweet. I loved what both you and Rod had to say at the funeral service. You both have the most touching and sincere testimonies. You have one amazing little boy and I'm sure he thinks the same about his parents. Thanks for sharing. Love you!