A Christmas Poem

I see the countless Christmas trees, around the world below.
With tiny lights, like heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear.
For I'm spending Christmas,with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs, that people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can't compare,with the Christmas choir up here.

For I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I can't tell you of the splendor, or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas, with our Savior, face to face?

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart,

But I'm not so far away, we really aren't apart.

So be happy for me dear ones, you know I hold you dear,

And be glad I am spending Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year.

Please love and keep each other, as the Father said to do, 

For I cannot count the blessings, or the love He has for you.

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear,

Remember I am spending Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year.

Pura Vida

Everyone once in awhile, an opportunity comes along that you just can't turn down. That was the case with our recent Costa Rica trip. To say this past year has been "rough" would be an understatement...so we justifiably rewarded ourselves. 

 

On our way with "Sunshine" in tow. (Anais & Chad sent Cannon a care package while he was in the hospital and this lil' turtle was included...it wrapped around his ventilator and we now use it as a special reminder.

On 1 of our 2 attempts to find and feed some monkeys! Failed both times...but atleast the scenery was nice!

El Avion - literally a giant plane converted into a restaurant/pub on the side of the mountain in Quepos...Gibson is always willing to take a pic with us!

Palm tree on our beach that happened to be crawling with ants...still made Rod climb it to snap a pic! :~)

Vista Los Suenos Canopy Tour - AWESOME!!! Yes, I had to wear a man's harness :~(

So happy to be zip-lining!

 

What a view!

Quepos National Park- complete with sloths, anteaters, monkeys and iguanas.

Little Mermaid reenactment.

Typical Costa Rican cuisine in Jaco.

My main squeeze with fresh squeezed pineapple juice.

Little crabs and snails ALL over our beach!

Gibson and Lennox demonstrating our morning ritual

Griffith Park flashback...except that was over 20 years ago and involved enclosed rings and much smaller horses. I guess there was a language barrier when we told them how long ago we had ridden...bc that got us a pretty advanced jungle/beach tour. But we survived!

Cinderella and Luna (daughter & mother duo)

Rode to Tres Amigos

See that white house in the background...see the beach...yeah that's how close we were.

Fresh coconut water everyday! Delish and so good for you!

Wish I could just walk out in my skivvies and it be this cute, but it wouldn't be - so I didn't. 

Thank you Kara and Q for inviting us! We had a BLAST!!

Sporadic thoughts

I am surrounded by men and women who never cease to AMAZE me. My heart aches for those who endure trials that I don't know if I could face myself. Which further proves that God only gives us what we can handle.

I cry when I think of all the wonderful things ppl have done/said to us these last few months. I am stubborn and way too independent and it has forced me to be humbled in ways I didn't think I could be. Rod is amazing. And that's an understatement. I am genuinely happy for women in my life who are pregnant and I understand why it's hard for them to tell me b/c I would think the same thing! Being a mother is the greatest feeling in the world. What kind of person/friend would I be if I were to be upset by someone being able to feel that?!

I was at Hobby Lobby the other day and a mother and her 3 kids were in the next aisle over and the mother was being VERY hard on one in particular that was crying. I instantly had a rush of emotion come over me when I hear her say with hate in her voice, "Ugh, I'm so sick of this!!!" Don't get me wrong, everyone is entitled to feeling that way, and I understand words come out that we don't mean - but it def. gets me thinking about the words I say when someone else could be listening. How would she have felt if she only knew a mother one aisle away had just buried her 4 month old son? I'm such a weirdo that I was very close to offering to hold her young child so she could finish her shopping. HA! 

Side note: Russ & Erin and their 3 kids are moving to AZ this weekend. I am SOOOO excited!! Hurry up and get here Crumptons! :~)

Called to Serve

Elder Blake Aaron Julander  
Washington D.C. North Mission - Spanish Speaking
He'll be reporting this Wednesday to the Provo MTC. What a stud right?! So excited to have another missionary to write...(It's been awhile)! I sure do enjoy sending and receiving a hand-written letter every once in a blue moon. At his talk yesterday, he shared this scripture:

Doctrine & Covenants 35:13

Wherefore, I call upon the weak things of the world, those who are unlearned and despised, to thresh the nations by the power of my Spirit.

Love that...

Here are some fun pics we took a few weeks ago

Good luck Blake!!! You'll do great! Thanks for being a great example to your friends and family! Love ya!


And a scripture for my own lil' missionary :~)

Doctrine & Covenants 138:57

I beheld that the faithful elders of this dispensation, when they depart from mortal life, continue their labors in the preaching of the gospel of repentance and redemption, through the sacrifice of the Only Begotten Son of God, among those who are in darkness and under the bondage of sin in the great world of the spirits of the dead.

The designers side...

I just finished reading a book entitled, "Angel Children" by Mary V. Hill.  I have a feeling I'll be sharing parts from this book over the next few months. Here's the one I needed today.

Marvin J. Ballard shared this story:

"I remember going to a carpet factory where they were making beautiful rugs. I approached from the seamy side. The shuttle was flying back and forth and the warp and woof were being made but there was not any design there. It was all ravelings and ends. It was just like life. When I stepped around on the other side it was another picture. It was the same operation - the same things exactly, only this was the design side. The color was blending; the figure was developing. There was not any failure there. We look at sorrows and we think they are tragedies, but we are only looking at things from the seamy side. There is another side to the picture, the designers side - God's side. And there are no blunders there.

Some day we will see it. Some day we will be able to say, "The Lord liveth! The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!"

Look at this boy...is it any wonder why Heaven wanted him back!? :~) Love you Cannon.

Blessed

It would literally be easier to scan the pages of the journal I wrote in and put em up here, but seeing as that I've written more in my journal in these last 2 months than the last 2 years...it'd be a little lengthy!
It's been 2 weeks since our sweet Cannon left to go to Jesus' house (cute lil Leah's words). It feels like a blur really...the hospital stays, the procedures, the docs and nurses - it doesn't seem like it even happened. I can't help but feel like I'm in a dream sometimes.
It's no secret that our darling boy has been nothing short of a complete and utter miracle. Here's very short synopsis from his Life Story that I shared at his funeral:

We were blessed to have had him home from May 15th- July 15th. What a happy lil’ man he was. A few things he loved: a full tummy, his green binkie, mom’s pillow, watching ESPN with daddy, being read to, warm baths and the blowdryer. He had the most kissable cheeks, he cooed and smiled when you told him how stinkin’ cute he was. He LOVED being snuggled and could rarely be put down without getting fussy. I would jokingly ask if it was normal for a baby to want to be held as much as he did! I’m grateful for this b/c I now realize he wanted US to hold him as much as possible.
He had been going to his cardiologist to monitor his heart function. They found thru EKG halters that he was having arrhythmia issues 20% of the time & also 3-4 second heart pauses and therefore needed surgery to correct this issue. I do not question if the surgery could have been postponed for a time because he was having these issues with hardly any noticeable symptoms and could have very easily passed at any time if it had not been addressed. 
On July 20th, Cannon underwent open heart surgery at Phoenix Children‘s Hospital. Because of the massive amounts of chest tube drainage following that, he also had to have 2 other procedures to try and help stop the draining. Cannon’s recovery process was a constant battle - but you could always feel his strength when he gripped his tiny hand around your fingers. People who came to visit would tell us how overwhelming his spirit was when they walked into our room. He had an amazing medical team of doctors and nurses who genuinely cared for him. After 41 long and hard fought days, he departed this world peacefully back into the presence of our Heavenly Father.


I read "Oh! The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Suess from the pulpit. There is a book cart at the hospital that comes around and I had always loved this book...but I couldn't help but interpret it differently reading it to Cannon this time. It pretty much summed up my feelings exactly. I hope I didn't ruin the book for everyone!

I can't even begin to thank everyone who has reached out to us, visited us in the hospital, brought us meals, sent us flowers and heartfelt cards. We are overwhelmed with feelings of love and appreciation. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Anais sent me this quote that I shared, The Prophet Joseph Smith said,
"The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again."

Cannon's Services

Funeral Services:

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

Viewing will be held from 9:00AM-9:45AM

Services will begin at 10:00AM

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

1911 N. 24th Street

Mesa, AZ 85213

Crossroads McKellips & In-between Gilbert & Lindsay

Our Sweet Angel

I'm sure most of you have heard by now that our darling baby boy peacefully departed this life this morning at 7:33AM.

He will forever remain in our hearts & thoughts as we strive to be worthy enough to be with him again someday.

Thank you for your love, support and prayers. They did not go unnoticed.

We love you Cannon!

Cannon's candids

Here's a little preview of the shoot C had with my talented friend Brittney. Check her out HERE. He was wide awake the entire time and she was so patient with us! :~) Thanks again girl - you're the BEST!


LOVE

THIS

BOY

The Green Ugly

His NICU bink and I have a love/hate relationship. I always said I wanted a binkie baby, guess I should've been more specific!

Always has those lil hands by his face


First bath - still couldn't be submerged in the water til his lil manpart was healed so he HATED it. Loves 'em now - PHEW!

Carseat check before we left NICU (the first time)

Snuggled up in his NICU bed

Very first family picture. 4 days old, still on CPAP and being fed thru a tube.

Being bottle fed by daddy! He did sooo good! Never doubted this kid would have difficulty eating...it's in his genes!

love me some chunky arms

The first of several NICU quarters for him - he got moved 3 times for bullying the other babies.

First Easter - hated that tube in his mouth! My poor sis Kara actually had to help the nurse hold his arms down so she could reinsert it after he pulled it out! UGH!

Daddy holding Cannon for the first time. So cute!!!

Well I was gonna update in more detail but Cannon is awake now. Hopefully soon!

2 hours and 40 mins

Cannon's Birth Story

I went in for a routine OB visit on Tues, April 19th at 3PM. Did my NST (non-stress test), went over our "Birth Plan" with the doctor and got my routine ultrasound. The doc told us they wanted to admit me to the hospital to monitor me and baby - they saw some fluid in his chest on one side that they had not seen the week before (or atleast didn't notice it). And there was a little bit of fluid around his heart that had reappeared.

We were admitted to an L&D room shortly after arriving at 7:30PM.They hooked me up to the EFM, the doc examined me and said I was already dilated to a 4 and 70% effaced. They kept me on the EFM until 2AM and FINALLY took it off of me so I could get some sleep, so I got about 4 hours total.

The next morning they did an echocardiogram - he still had the fluid but was doing well as far as heartbeat, movement, etc. The OB came in and said that we would probably be able to go home, we just had to wait to hear back from the cardiologist. This wasn't the first time we heard this either so I was excited to be able to go back home! We'd been doing our Bradley Method for 10 weeks and I knew if they had to induce me...the chances of natural birth would be rather slim since they'd be augmenting my labor. We WAITED forever and the cardiologist gave us the news...baby was safer out than in. They basically said they weren't sure why the fluid was there or how much faster it could accumulate and there would be nothing they could do for him unless he was in their care. I cried...this was NOT part of my plan but I was not about to risk the safety of my baby. The next step was to get me started on pitocin but I asked them if we could wait for a little so I could "prepare" myself.

My bro-in-law Quinton went and picked some stuff up from our house since we had only packed to stay 1 night, Carrie stopped by to visit and Kara came and worked on my feet for me. We stalled for quite some time, we went to eat, walked around the hospital, curb walked...just to see if I could put myself into labor :~) haha! (Stubborn I know). When we got back the nurse said the nurse midwife from my OB office stopped by to break my water for me. Say what? That was not presented to us as an option before! With the help of Kara, Q and our Bradley teacher...we decided breaking my water would be the most natural approach. I would still be able to move around, wouldn't be hooked up to an IV, and the doc said my cervix was nice and ripened so they thought it'd be pretty successful.

5:10PM - OB breaks my water - 15 mins later I felt my first contraction. I had 4-5 min breaks in between so it wasn't too bad. We figured we'd go walk around the hospital but that didn't happen b/c they started coming hard and fast. The only breaks in between were to change positions or have the nurse readjust the stupid EFM that I wanted to rip off of my body!

6:45ish - Nurse checks me and I'm at a 7 - contractions are 1-1.5 mins apart. Rod was incredible...he was there with me the entire time helping me relax and encourage me. Couldn't have done it without him!

7:15 - I got in the shower and that's when I went into transition...it was short lived b/c a few contractions later I felt like I had to push. They moved me to the bed and I was at a 9! Not being able to push WHILE trying to relax was so frustrating!!! Talk about cancelling eachother out! HA! They checked again and I was at a 9.5 and that's when the room started getting prepped. I had 2 awkward pushes - I felt like I was going to break the stirrups off the bed and I didn't quite know what to do. 3rd push baby crowned...4th he was OUT at 7:50PM.
They put him on my tummy b/c the cord was too short, he wasn't changing color fast enough so Rod cut the cord and they took him to NICU where Rod was with him the whole time.
3rd stage was not ideal...I had cord detachment/placenta retainment. Basically meaning if they didn't get my placenta out quick - I was going to bleed out. Unfortunately for me that meant i wouldn't be able to deliver it on my own...the doc physically had to retrieve it! This is the part that hurt...I may have been screaming just a little bit - which I'm quite embarrassed about now! :~(
I realize there's no gold medal given to anyone who delivers naturally, and I don't think epidurals are bad...but with everything our little man was already having to deal with - I didn't want anything "extra" getting to him that wasn't necessary. I can't put into words what a miraculous experience it was. Rod was utterly amazing and is the cutest daddy ever (which I knew he would be).
I can't seem to get the pics off of my camera for some reason - so I'll have to attempt that again later. Cannon is a trooper - we are so in love with this little boy! Thanks for all the prayers on his behalf, we are truly blessed!

Nursery pics and update

Well here we are at the 33 week mark...I don't think it's hit me just yet. Actually - it HASN'T hit me. I am still feeling great minus the sciatic nerve but I'm not complaining cuz it could be worse! Baby is chugging along - stumping the doctors and I love it! They said I have to meet with the neonatologist this week but I'm not sure what we'll be talking about b/c everything that was an "issue" before...is pretty much nonexistent! They don't even look at/measure the back of his neck (nuchal fold) and the heart's still thicker than they'd like to see but overall it looks great. The ped. cardiologist uses the word "beautiful" quite often when he does my ultrasounds which cracks me up! So my kid is THICK - thick neck, thick heart, thick skin...what of it?! :~)

We have been taking a birthing class for 5 weeks called The Bradley Method. It's a 12 week course, every Wed for 2-2.5 hours and I love it! I took it for a couple reasons but I wanted to have Rod semi-prepared (he had been making some rather uneducated comments and it was starting to worry me) and since it focuses a lot on husband coaching, it was my best bet! With everything that's happened, I wanted to know my options b/c I'm sure there are quite a few ppl if they had been told what we were told...they would've terminated their pregnancy long ago - based on the doctors opinion. I'm not saying I'm smarter than a doctor - obviously I'm not...but I didn't want someone telling me I have to do this or that during labor! Last time I checked, it's my body and my birthing experience. Do I sound crazy yet?! :~)


The nursery is still coming along but I had to show off Rod's skills. He spent 3 Saturdays taping, painting, measuring, sawing, nailing & caulking and here are a few pics. I LOVE IT! He also installed the chair rail and painted the dresser & assembled the crib and the storage unit. I taped some and painted the last coat on the top of the dresser just so I could say I touched it. But the credit goes to my handy hubby.